recap, part I

originally posted February 19, 2008


I'm starting to feel that I've been seriously remiss in failing to document any of the on-goings of the past many months. Why have I been so reluctant to create an electronic record of the exciting time I've spent growing a person? The reasons are plentiful:

1) I would not want the other children to someday look on said electronic record and say Hey! Why is it you cared enough to write stuff down for this kid, but all I have is a box of hair wads and free-floating odds and ends and an almost entirely blank baby book and…what? Is that a pork rind? Shaped like a VULVA? You are a horrible mother.

2) While the things that happen during a period of gestation are all-consuming, they aren't really all that interesting. I threw up, and then I bitched some, and then some other stuff happened, and then I was irrational, and then I had to pee a bunch, and suddenly it was eight months later.

3) I will confess – almost every single thing that finds its way to this space is gin-soaked, steeped in wine, mauled by hops, etc. There. I said it. Without the aid of social lubricants, I've not been able to muster the inspiration to fully do justice to the story of the time the Brain Scientist's friend escaped from rehab with Johnny Winter. Yes. Guitarist/albino Johnny Winter. No fucking kidding.

Hmm. I guess the reasons aren't that plentiful. They certainly aren't compelling. That said, I have begun an attempt to make up for lost time by generating a time line covering the exciting events of the pod period. As with nearly all of my undertakings, I am going to kick this one off in typical fashion: with a grand statement of intent, followed by a period of inactivity, followed by a period in which I dick around doing things completely unrelated to the endeavor, followed by regret for suggesting the endeavor in the first place, followed by bitter attempts to get things underway. This should be fun.